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Emotional Regulation: A mindful way to navigate through complexity and change
May 19th, 2011
I recently had the privilege of hearing David Rock, author of Your Brain at Work, speak about complexity and change. I thoroughly enjoyed his presentation and want to share one of my key takeaways related to emotional regulation.
David talked about three cognitive processes that can be used to regulate the emotions we fire when faced with change, threat, or challenge. They are listed below.
1. Learn to stop and pause, our ability to “put on the brakes” in his words, to stop the natural and often unconscious process of emotion->feeling->action so that we get better at taking a minute or so to digest the situation before reacting. FYI – those who are mindful are able to do this more readily because it’s a practiced and learnable skill.
2. Label – when you “name” what is happening, it significantly reduces the limbic arousal response (in other words it de-intensifies the emotional firing from the amygdala). FYI – when we do this mindfully (with focused attention and awareness), the emotional downshift is even more intensified.
3. Reappraisal—the only strategy, according to David, that works for strong emotional hits. It entails reframing or re-storying the event which changes the way information is linked and stored in the brain. By the way, this also causes an immediate shift in brain chemistry. FYI – those who are mindful can do this more readily for at least two reasons. First, they are better able to remove self/ego from the equation. Second, they are more apt to be able to separate the past from what is happening now, more cognizant of the fact that the past is simply a mental projection, and therefore more able to let go.
Practice with the three techniques will enable you to be more clear, focused, open, and aware when dealing with complexity and change.
I personally have been focused on labeling. I was told by a wise man that “It’s hard to look at an attachment and not have it dissolve in some way.” I think the same applies here. It’s hard to be gripped by an emotion or irrational fear once it is named. Specifically, I’m pausing to name the emotion and then waiting long enough to focus on the feeling as it dissolves. The two to four seconds are priceless and are followed by a renewed sense of purpose, focus, and commitment. I encourage you to try it or one of the other techniques above combined with mindful attention while you do so.
A few moments of awareness is all that’s needed to awaken.
Marty Weinrich
May 23, 2011
Wow great advice! I have used the label trick and it works. Sometimes a situation triggers an emotion, but by taking the time to label that emotion it gives me the one to two seconds I need to evaluate how I should respond/react which helps suppress the initial reaction. It has improved my communication wtih my employees and given me a calmer sense of purpose. I have not had to say “I’m sorry I reacted that way” since I have been mindful of my emotions and trying my best to regulate them.
thanks for the post.