About Us

The Mindful Leadership Blog

Change the conversation and the world changes

March 10th, 2011

Our language creates our world, defines our social structure, and determines who is in and who is out. Our stories about what is, what might be, and from whence we came, unite us in shared purpose. Remember the feedback loops so popular in the quality days? Those feedback loops are even more important these days. Continual conversation grounded in true dialog is critical. That exchange is built upon an advocacy and inquiry process that allows for the exploration of ideas in a democratic space that promotes shared meaning. It’s the ultimate feedback loop. You engage with me and I engage with you on a platform where our ideas are shared and explored. It is those conversations that bring subtlety and nuance to the fore. They enable continual knowledge, improvement and adjustment in an ever-changing world. Conversation is the key to change. Change the conversation and the dialog changes; change the dialog and the world changes.

Mindful leaders are change starters and world changers.  And it has everything to do with how they see and experience the world.  Rather than looking out there for what’s wrong (a past focused view).  They tend to look out there to understand what is happening (a present focused view), in here (for my reactions), and out there with a new ownership stance and a set of questions designed to unlock a new future.  Their non-mindful counterparts tend to look outside for the problem, then for the culprit, and finally for a quick fix.  Let’s look at an example. 

A number of our clients have requested assistance with engagement this year.  Let’s look at how a mindful leader and a non mindful leader look at engagement.

The mindful leader …
Pauses to take stock:  The survey says our people aren’t engaged as they once were.  The survey reports and they say they don’t trust senior management.  (This is a more present-focused view.)

The unmindful leader…
Looks outside for the problem:  People have such an entitlement mentality here.  They expect everything to be given to them including their happiness (an out there and what’s wrong view).

The mindful leader …
Looks inside and asks “what’s that mean to me?” This is an important data point.  I probably am senior leadership in some people’s eyes (at least I’d like to think so).   What have I done that may have damaged the relationship? What more might people need from me and those above me? How often have I looked down rather than up for assistance and/or input?  How proactive have I been in communicating and engaging with the broader organization?  How have I used and abused my power?  How attentive have I been to the actions and deeds of others?  What gutsy steps have I taken as a leader that would make a difference? Etc., etc., etc.  The point:  Mindful leaders reflect on action (theirs and others), emotions (theirs and others), and choices (theirs and others), and the degree to which they took the noble path that makes a difference.

Okay, for most, the stance above is a bit idealized.  For the average person aiming to be mindful, it would be something more like this:  Candidly the fact that my group is not as engaged as before hurts (or makes me angry) because I’ve tried for a year or more to get them more engaged.  Further this whole situation reflects poorly on me as their leader and I don’t deserve it (which I know is victim mentality, I need to let go).  And, it ticks me off to have to take up the battle for senior management (the victim, again, I know).  But, as I look at myself and my emotions, I can see I have a hand in what’s been created out there.  I do sometimes speak despairingly of senior management and I do sometimes allow others to do so without saying anything.

The unmindful leader…
Looks for the culprit:  Looks outside and asks “who’s to blame” which is victim mentality. This list is often long but the favorites related to senior management appear to be:

• They don’t listen. They pretend to listen but don’t do anything.
• They don’t take action. They see/hear what people expect but don’t do anything year to year.
• They don’t care. They never come down here and talk and/or listen to us.

The mindful leader …
I have an opportunity to help myself and help my group create a different world—one where they, and I, are more engaged and passionate about the world and the great things we do.  To make it happen, I plan to:
Take ownership:  “I’d like to suggest that we, me included, no longer bash senior management.  It influences our view of them in ways that aren’t fair, our company in ways that are less than ideal, and creates a victim-based mentality (they’re doing things to us and we have no control or options).  As of today, you won’t hear leadership bashing from me and I’d like not to hear it from you unless it’s followed with action ideas and option generation.”

I do want us to create a work environment where we are engaged, passionate, and truly excited about what we do and why we do it.  To start, let’s talk about the following:

• What excites you most about what we do?
•  What one thing would make work so much more meaningful? What would need to happen for that to occur?
• What do we want and need from senior management?  How can we get it?

The unmindful leader…
Go for the “canned” answer.  This, in most instances, is to have a one-and-done problem solving meeting.  That done, they go back to business as usual and are surprised, dismissed, angry, and/or uninspired when faced with the same data set the following year or two.

In short, mindful leaders pause, reflect, and then act with a renewed ownership focus and a handful of questions designed to start the conversations that can design or shape a new future.  The unmindful leader looks outside for the problem, the culprit, and the quick fix.  Imagine the difference in engagement when conversations start in this way:

• “I haven’t paid the attention to teamwork that’s required for us to perform at our peak.  What one thing if addressed would start to mend the issues between us?” rather than “It’s obvious there are cliques in our group. I’ve noted it before and it needs to stop because it’s impacting our engagement scores. So I’ve called in a team builder to help.”   
• “I don’t take enough time to communicate, plan and provide you the attention that you need.  What are the first few items that I need to ensure I find time for us to tackle” rather than “I’ve told you before how difficult it is to find time?  I’ve tried over the past year to dedicate more time to our group and to better meet your needs, but the survey says it’s not good enough.  What more do you need from me?”

Let’s keep the list going.  How can you reframe what you need to say to your group relative to engagement?  Or given a magic want, what would you like your manager to say to you given the chance?